25 things you know about her (but will never tell her)

1. it's all about Daddy
2.she's dating down
3.your mother annoys her
4.her new haircut makes her look more dykey than the intended gamine
5.size does in fact matter to her, especially with engagement rings and penises
6.those endless stories she tells about her girlfriends depressing love life? that aint concern, she gets off on them
7.shes not the fellatio artiste she thinks she is
8.you know shen shes faking it
9.shes the only thing keeping you from devolving into a ball-scratching, nonflushing, mac and cheese eating out of the pot state
10. shell never get over a. being cut from cheerleader tryouts freshman year b. not getting asked to prom senior year c. Jay her mythic and unassailable first d all of the above
11. in twenty years, shes going to look and behave exactly like her mother
12.she looks better with a bit of makeup
13.the story about how she lost her virginity is bullshit
14.competition with her sister informs everything she does/wear/says/is
15.no matter what she says about wanting a modest, intimate wedding she wants the poufed gown and the multitiered cake
16.if she were so constantly vigilant, shed have a mustache
17.shes much wittier than you are
18.she pulls it like a cigarrette-vending-machine nob (hey its an organ for pete sake!)
19.that friend of hers whom shes always trying to set up with one of your buddies?shell die alone
20.cnadles and bubble bath mean nooky's a comin'
21.if she cheated on you, no, it wouldnt kill you. in fact, it just might ease your conscience
22.when you sit down to watch law and order together shes wishing it were friends
23.the only tolstoy shes ever read is that line about "happy families"
24.all her presents to you are not so subtle attempts to remake your wardrobe
25.she has a princess complex. they all do.


Vuelvo y repito no toy de acuerdo con todo :S