25 things She expects you to know (but will never tell you)

jajaja cheking one of my old GQs....encontre esto...25 things She expects you to know (but will never tell you)..por cierto no toy de acuerdo con todo
1.when she's not in the mood
2.when she;s being funny
3.her father can do no wrong
4.no matter what the truth may be, answers to the questions a. am i the best lover you ever had? b. does my butt look fat in this? and c. do you ever fantisize about other women? are as follows: a. yes indeed b. are you kidding? your ass is perfect! and c. of course not. i fantasize about you!
5.cuddling is just the best
6.what she was wearing the day you met
7.the place and date of your first kiss
8.what her dress , shoe and cup sizes are
9.where her spot is
10.you must call the next day after having sex for the first time
11.you must buy her a major present after she gives birth
12.whe her fav designer is
13.flowers on valentines day dont mean anything unless they come with an effusive card
14.you should keep the tags on any item of clothing you buy for her, in most cases, she will return it
15.you shouldn't flip on sportcenter five minutes after the deed is done
16.she doesnt care how good an athlete you were in high school, those days are over, so stop talking about it
17.you can never bad-mouth one of her family members, even if she does it, constantly, just nod and listen
18.no matter how many times the invitation says casual, you cant wear that
19.the excruciatingly long session in which she heaped abuse on you, broke down in tears, then screamed i want to kill myself! for all the neighbors to hear, that was nothing. thats just her way of working through things.
20. when youre going to a party, you should add fifteen minutes to your expected time of departure since shell still be getting ready
21.cash, even serious cash, is not considered an appropiate gift on her birthday, valentines day, or any other goddamned day
22. no matter how many cracks she makes about your thinning hair and thickening waistline, comments about her looks are offlimits.
23. a marriage proposal must be meticulously choreographed and storybook dramatic i.e. it better make for a story she can wow her friends with.
24. when its time to indulge her need to chat
25.everything.